You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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