As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
