he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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