Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
