Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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