Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
