so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
