i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
