So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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