well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
