i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
