Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
