Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
