Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
