people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
