ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
