Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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