Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
