Do you still have your period?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
