I got chris browned last night
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
