I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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