Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
PANTIES FOUND
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