I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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