Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
