I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
