I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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