This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
