My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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