i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Randomize