real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
