my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
