super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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