His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
