you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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