Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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