your parents love me but you hate me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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