he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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