Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
