It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Operation Purity has been aborted
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
