i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
