So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
