Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
