I wish I could teleport
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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