it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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