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• (845): View more from New York

  I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Previous statement retracted.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.

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• (619): View more from California

  THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"

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• (716): View more from New York

  He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.

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