Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
