i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
