I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Can I color on your dick again?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
A+ Viking dick
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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