I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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