morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
