we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
