I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
