OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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