I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
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I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
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But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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