your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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