I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
