I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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