I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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