I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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