We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
