Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
