On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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