Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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