sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize