Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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