I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
